End The Silence, Stop The Violence

Quick Exit ✕ If you’re in immediate danger, call 911. 24/7 confidential help (U.S.): 1-800-799-7233 • Text START to 88788 • Chat at TheHotline.org . Use a safe device if possible and clear your browser history after visiting.     Photo by Stewart Munro on Unsplash   It’s been several years since I’ve written here. Life pulled me in many directions, and for a while, I stepped away from blogging — but I never stepped away from caring. This space was once named one of the top 100 resources for domestic violence, and while I was never in it for recognition, that has always reminded me that this work matters. Survivors matter. Their voices, their safety, their lives matter. Today, I return to this blog with a heavy heart and a renewed fire. Back in 2014, I wrote a post called “ Is the Law Failing Domestic Violence Victims/Survivors? ” At the time, I was fueled by frustration — by the stories of survivors who were doing everything they were “sup...

Hello Everyone, It has been a while since I have written on this blog. I just wanted to thank you all for all of your support over the years. It is because of you all that this blog still gets as many readers, comments, and support as it does. I truly cherish all of you. I want to talk about the importance of sharing our stories. I believe this is especially important for Domestic Violence Survivors because we are know to suffer in silence. The more we stay silence, the more we keep ourselves from healing and the longer we neglect to bless someone else who may be going through Domestic Violence. We overcome for sharing of our testimonies.   Yesterday, I shared my testimony is some details probably the most detailed I ever had publicly. It was very freeing and I know it will be a blessing to someone. I went live on Facebook for the first time ever. I shed light on emotional abuse as domestic violence is often viewed as only physical, but people need to understand that emotional...

Photo by  Alex Iby  on  Unsplash I have been contemplating writing this post because I know what I am going to discuss is serious and sensitive on many different levels. Not only is domestic violence in itself a serious topic, but the topic of the Coronavirus is a serious one at that. Both of these topics are sensitive in a sense that there are many different views and opinions on them. They also can bring about many different emotions for some people. However, before I get started, I need to have a transparent moment with my readers. It has definitely been a while since I have written a post on this blog. It was not because I gave up on raising awareness on domestic violence, it was just solely due to the trials of life. In may of 2019, I developed a health issue that affected my hands. Because of that, I couldn't really type or write as much I was use to doing. I also had personal issues that overwhelming just affected me to the point where I was just in a differe...

Greetings! If you live in the Chicagoland area, you do not want to miss this powerful live monologue written by Patti Ann Taylor. Patti Taylor is the founder of nonproft entitled "The Taylor House". 50 Shades of Bruises; I am free is dedicated to Patti Taylor's aunt Pamela Ann Taylor who died of suicide after being abused for 16 years.  The monologue will be held on Wednesday, September 5th, 2018 from 6pm-10pm at Instituto Cervantes .  Tickets can be purchased on eventbrite, by clicking here  50 Shades Of Bruises Tickets . Space is limited and tickets are selling fast so let's make sure we pack the house! 

Pastor Debra Wadlington and Nicole Lofton Hey Everyone!  On April 29th 2018, I was blessed to be a guest host on Pastor Debra Wadlington 's radio show " Ask Pastor Deb ".  Pastor Deb is a domestic violence survivor as well as a recovery coach. Coversations on the topic of domestic violence are very important because there are a lot of misconceptions on the topic. Together Pastor Deb and I touched  on some of the myths. Below is the recording, feel free to share your thoughts. Thank you all in advance for listening! Nicole Lofton  Certifid Biblical Life Coach and Founder of Faithful Deeds Foundation Nicole@faithfuldeedsfoundation.org                                             

     I can remember when the man with the cloth said to death do us part Wow, I said in the back of my mind; He must really love me. My mind glazed, until I realized the man I once knew took those very words to heart leaving my heart to feel the pain as I gave him my love. Loving me to death, I continue to review those words over and over again.Sounds of siren roaring through the neighborhood, children crying, neighbors whispering, he really loved his wife. Realizing all those who loved me gathered around and finally gave me flowers. He loved me to death Vernell Logan Copyright © 2004

There were so many nights I did not think I would make it to see another day but; through my pain and sorrows I made it  to see the sun once again. Life at times seemed unbearable and I did not think I deserve to be here. Once I grasped for air and took a long swallow I felt a gush of wind awaken my soul. My mind rehearsed maybe there's room for me. I began to think I was worthy once again that was up until the slap of fire burned my face. I doubted the seeds of I can make it and I fell into life of despair. Slowly feeling like life will pass me by; only if I can dream once again. Abuse stole my identity leaving me to feel like a failure as my head hung low in shame. The song that penetrated my heart "I am a survivor as I roared my way back to health". I can, I will make it became my found new friends and the road to recovery was my way back to destiny. I am healed, I am free but most of all I am a survivor"  Vernell T. Mackie (c) 2018 No part of this poem...

The Truth About Substance Abuse and Domestic Violence By Michelle Peterson of Recovery Pride ( RecoveryPride.org) It’s no secret that substance abuse and domestic violence are correlated. Alcoh olics and those who use drugs are more likely to commit spousal abuse than those who don’t. An alarming 61 percent of domestic violence offenders abuse substances and they often blame their explosive behavior on being under the influence. Substance abuse does not cause domestic violence, but because of the strong link between the two, they must be treated simultaneously. Here’s a deeper look on domestic violence, substance abuse, and how to combat both. Domestic violence and power As defined by the Department of Justice, domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. It is a common misconception that those who abuse their partners are always heavily intoxicat...

"This original song Highlighting Domestic Violence - Recorded by the Crocked Monsieurs in support of Refuge - please take time to share this. BUY THE SONG NOW and help raise money for Refuge on iTunes http://goo.gl/f9HRS This song was inspired by conversations between a close friend of the band who was relating her own experiences of Domestic Violence to them. The song has been featured on several Radio Stations and was included on Red Dragon Records stunning compilation CD 2nd Renaissance. This video was voted video of the Month for May 2014 on Talentcast. Home Sweet Home continues to receive positive reviews over 1 year after release, Home Sweet Home the original domestic violence awareness song in support of Refuge."

This Infographic was made and sent to me by Law Offices of Randy Collins, I think this is a great infographic so I decided to share, if you would like to put it on your blog, website, etc please visit their site at  https://domestic-violence-law.com/30-signs-of-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship/#forward Courtesy of Law Offices Of Randy Collins

Today, I checked my email and to my surprise, I had an email from Laura Martin , who happens to live in Spain. One thing that I love about my blog is that I am able to reach and communicate with people all over the world. It truly is a blessing to me. I truly did not realize the impact that this blog would have on so many people including myself when I first started it. I am really humbled.  Laura Martin wrote a song called " Quierete  (Latin)" which in English means " Love Yourself ". Although the song is in Spanish, Laura has provided subtitles in English. I would encourage you to listen and share the video. It is a beautiful song.  Click below to listen.  Feel free to visit  Laura's website Laura Martin Music    or her blog Laura Martin Music Blog   to learn more about her. As always, thanks for reading! Much love and God Bless, Nicole Lofton If you would like to contact me, please email me at nicole@gardenofpurp...

My Baby Shot Me Down Hello All! This time I am here to write to you about a film that I recently just learned about entitled My Baby Shot Me Down  When the My Baby Shot Me Down  twitter account followed me, I instantly wanted to know more about the film. It appears that the film is not out yet, but  it will be out soon. The film is by Daniella Daemy and is being made in the UK. Of course being the advocate that I am, I just had to share it with you all. I just love sharing anything that has to do with raising awareness of domestic violence. In fact, I get excited because this is a cause that is dear to not only my hear, but I know that is dears to yours as well. Although I do not know much about the film, I do know that it is about five women that seek revenge and kidnap men who I believe have committed domestic violence. Feel free to check out the IMDB page that has been created for the film here  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5126930/ Feel free to follow...

Nya Marquez Hello, everyone! Today, I am happy to write to you about this amazing song and video that was made by 13 year old Nya Marquez. I absolutely love music and I love when it brings awareness to an important cause especially domestic violence. While on Twitter  about two months ago, I happened to come across the twitter page of Nya Marquez, in which I saw her promoting her song that she made to bring hope and healing to those affected by domestic violence. I have to say that I was and I still am very touched by Nya's song "No, No More". I think that  it is such a beautiful song and Nya is a beautiful person inside and out. To be 13 years old spreading such an inspiring and important message is very beautiful. I hope that you are as touched and inspired, by the song and the video as I am.    Below, is the wonderful video, "No, No More". As always, thanks for reading! Much love and God Bless,  Nicole Lofton  If you would ...

Hello Again! I have yet again something to share with you all today lol.  I finally finished my ebook/pdf "The Miseducation of Domestic Violence:Dispelling The Myths In Order To Promote The Truth This is just a small PDF and this is something that has been on my heart. There are so many myths about domestic violence and I always try to dispel those myths. I addressed 10 of them that I feel are common or that I hear about the most.  I pray that this blesses someone, please feel free to share it as well. If you would like to get in contact me, you can email me at nicole@faithfuldeedsfoundation.org  You can view the eBook by clicking on the cover or you can download it by clicking here  The Miseducation Of Domestic Violence

Hello again to all my wonderful readers and supporters! Once again, I have something to share with you. As you know already, I love to see or hear about people spreading awareness about domestic violence and I am always open to working with anyone supporting this cause. I was blessed to receive an email from singer/songwriter Laura Baron who shared with me that she had made a music video to raise awareness for domestic violence. When people reach out to me, I like to take my time to actually listen or read what is that they are doing, have done, or want to do so it did take me a couple of days to watch the video in its entirety. I can honestly say that I absolutely love this video. The video is very emotional but I appreciate the realness of it. It tells and shows the story of a woman breaking free from domestic violence. I believe that this is a video that everyone should see. I am happy to be able to blog about it and share it with you all today. I am happy to present to y...

Hello to all of my readers! Today, I want to share a very important resource with you all. Some of you may already know of this resource already. I have been meaning to write about this resource for some time now and I finally got around to it. The resource that I am speaking of is DomesticShelters.org and as I wrote in the title of this blog post, it is definitely a website that is making a difference in the lives of survivors, victims, and those around them. So what is DomesticShelters.org ? Well DomesticShelters.org is the LARGEST(see how I wrote that lol) online searchable database for domestic violence shelters. This is something that has definitely been well needed in the domestic violence field. DomesticShelters.org was started by Theresa's Fund and The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence . Not only does it provide information regarding shelters, they provide many other resources as well including amazing articles for anybody that has a questions ...

I am thoroughly excited that Ashton Kutcher and his media company A Plus have decided to join the fight against domestic violence. Domestic Violence is still a cause that needs much attention and I always think it is awesome when celebrities help raise awareness. I know that ANYBODY can raise awareness, but celebrities can raise awareness on a bigger scale and so I think what Ashton Kutcher and his media team are doing is amazing.  What they have done is created an infographic that shows, in their words, "the effects of abuse that outlast physical violence, but are still detrimental". The infographic basically shows what happens after abuse and how it affects the survivor as far as their children, their employment, and their living situations go.  Infographics are great because some people are visual, meaning they need to see something in order to understand it. Not everyone can or wants to read a long paragraph or a bunch of statistics simply because it is not...

Dear Survivor, I hope this message finds you at the right time in your life. It's been a while since I have wrote on this blog, but I am always grateful for all of you who still read and keep up with this particular blog. I have a very important message on my heart. It is one that God has placed on my heart this week and that message is that it is time to heal. This is only goes for you, but it  goes for me as well. It is time for us to heal and allow ourselves to be free to be ourselves again as well as to love and be loved. Now I know some people may feel like they have already healed. I felt that way too, but sometimes we are only temporarily or half way healed. The moment that we keep replaying our situation and it brings us down instead of uplifting us, that is a sign that we are not yet healed. The moment when we try to begin a new relationship or endeavor, but the memories of the past begin to haunt us and hold us back, then we are not healed yet. The moment we fee...