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Thursday, September 22, 2011

Domestic Violence:The Mark of Silence

This particular blog post will kind of be all over the place, but it will slowly start to come together and eventually the reader will see why the title is "Domestic Violence: The Mark of Silence". As I sat here thinking, I started to wonder if teens being home alone a lot helped them hide domestic violence more than usual. During these times parents are at work a lot, times are hard and in order to pay bills and eat, we have to go to work. I thought about how much time a teen or someone living with their parents would have time to cover up a bruise by the time their parents, guardian, or whoever they were living with got home.

Pay attention to this closely, remember when you first got a hickey or someone you knew got one? Maybe you were a teenager, maybe you were an young adult or even an adult. A lot of times when someone first gets a hickey, its kind of embarrsing to them. They find ways to hide it by covering it up with make up, wearing turtle necks, putting toothpaste on the bruise because in fact that's what a hickey is, a bruise right? And sometimes it is unwanted because who wants to walk around with something like that on them when they know people will ask questions? Well if you were younger when you first got one and your parents managed to find out you probably got in trouble in some shape or form.

 The example of a hickey is almost similar to someone who has been physically abused. Imagine even though you may not want to, but its important that you imagine in order to feel what an domestic violence victim has experienced or is experiencing. Imagine being physically abused and you know you have to go home to parents, friends, etc and you are so hurt and afraid. You do not want them to know what happened and you do not want them to see you like that. You are hurt and afraid but you do not want them to worry.  So you rush home before anyone gets there OR you rush home and go straight to your room or the bathroom and you take ANY AND EVERY precaution to try to cover up what has happened. Imagine going through that,can you imagine? Can you feel the hurt and the pain? This is what a victim of domestic violence feels and goes through.

So now why do I call it the mark of silence? Mainly because it makes us silent and the abuser will definitely try to force them not to say anything by threatening them or whatever else they can do. We feel afraid and ashamed. We are silent not only because we are forced to be, but because we feel like if we did decide to reach out and tell someone, they may not understand. They may think that we are stupid, they would not understand why we would stay with someone that hurt us. I want to take this time out to encourage those looking from the outside to really try to understand that it is NOT easy to leave an abusive relationship. Victims are usually tormented and threatened not only that sometimes the abuser threatens the victims friends and families but the friends and families may be unaware. As victims they do not want anyone to worry and they want to protect their friends and families and yes even sometimes they want to protect the abuser but no matter what we do not want to see someone else get hurt.


Domestic Violence is a serious matter and it is a silent matter that needs to be addressed with LOUD VOICES. Please consider taking a stand against domestic violence, you never know who you know that is experiencing it. Take time to talk to friends and family about domestic violence.



please feel free to visit my website www.facingittoday.org
GOD Bless,
Nicole Lofton