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Monday, October 13, 2014

To The Families That Are Remembering Their Loved Ones That Have Lost Their Lives To Domestic Violence



To My Readers:

As most of you or all of you probably know, this month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and lately I've really had a lot on my heart. Although I haven't lost anyone to domestic violence, I am a survivor and I started to think about those who have lost someone due to domestic violence. I can't imagine how hard it is especially during this month for those families and friends who are remembering their loved ones. So while raising awareness, I did not want to neglect to send my condolences and uplift those that have lost someone due to domestic violence.

Of course my words cannot take away the pain that you may feel, but hopefully my words and prayers can bring you some hope and encouragement. As a life coach, I always  like to focus on pain in purpose. It was from my painful experiences that I have found my purpose. I want to encourage you to use your pain and share it with others. Share the stories of your loves ones because you never know who it may help and it return it will help you because it will bring healing and peace to you. You now have a angel or angels that are looking down on you and guiding you every step of the way. 

My heart really hurts for you all, but I want you to know that although you may not be able to see your loved ones physically, you can always connect with them spiritually. So, here is my prayer for you, I didn't prepare this so this is just from my heart. 

Heavenly Father, I come to you on behalf of those that have lost someone due to domestic violence. I pray Lord that you give them peace during this time and every time that they feel like they have too much too bear because you said in your word Lord that you would never put more on us than we can bear. I pray that you comfort them during this time and that you help them see the purpose in their pain. I ask that you help them release all that needs to be released so that they can be whole again because you Lord are the only one that can truly makes us whole. Lord I ask that you mend their broken hearts, wipe away their tears, strengthen their prayers, and give them strength to carry on and to carry the memory of their loved ones in the way that you would have them too. Lord, we know that as humans we can never really understand why certain things happen, but we know that you know and that it serves a purpose, a purpose that brings us closer to you, a purpose that brings us closer to others, a purpose that brings healing, patience,wisdom,  and deliverance. I pray that you touch every one who comes across not only this blog post, but this blog in general and that you workout whatever situation in their lives needs your attention Lord. This I pray in Jesus name, Amen. 


Tuesday, September 9, 2014

My Thoughts on The NFL and Domestic Violence (Yes, I'm back again)



It seems we meet again. I remember in 2012, when I started a petition for the NFL to wear purple for domestic violence and everybody was in an uproar. While, there were many supporters, there were many against it as well. There were even some fellow advocates against it only because it said wear purple and not what they felt that it should say, so some of them created their own petitions, which I am not against because I believe the more the merrier, but really where has it gotten us? As advocates we are still so divided amongst a cause that is suppose to be promoting togetherness. Perhaps, if we stood strong together we would be making a bigger impact. These are just my thoughts. If you want to know my reasoning behind the petition you can visit this post here: Athletes and Domestic Violence: Why I started With The NFL First

I am troubled for a number of reasons, I am troubled with the NFL specifically because even though they have changed their policies, it still may not be good enough. I am troubled with the NFL because they believe that we are ignorant. The NFL believes that we are ignorant enough to believe that they never saw the recent tape which shows The former Baltimore Raven, Ray Rice, knocking out his now wife in the elevator. Really NFL? Really? Do you you really think that we are that ignorant, do you think that we really do not know the truth?

Quite frankly, I am tired of the commissioner and whoever else is involved that is  just saying things for publicity or trying to get the fans or the naysayers off their back. Do something because it is right thing to do. Rodger Goodell, you say that you realized you drop the ball? I don't think you have realized, you just want us to SHUT UP and that is not going to happened. The NFL has failed to see how domestic violence is a very serious problem within their own organization and how getting their players help and raising awareness on a national level could help tremendously. The NFL is one of the BIGGEST organizations are out there and yes I get it, I get that the NFL can choose to support whichever cause that it pleases, but why not one that is destroying your own players lives?

Which brings me to my next point, does the NFL really care about its players or does it just care about the money? When you see some of your players making costly mistakes that could ruin not only their career, but their personal lives as well, when do you intervene? When do you step up and say hey we need to talk, find out whats going on in your life. No, I do not want to hear that this is not the NFL's responsibilities to do this, because it is. The NFL is different from a lot of other employers, the coaches and staff are with these players more than the players own families are with the players and this says a lot.

Now, I want to bring up something very important. I have a lot of thoughts and I am very hurt. This is such a touchy subject that many probably won't speak up, but I encourage you all too, even if you use my blog to do so. Now, we all now that the Ravens have let go of Ray Rice and that the NFL has suspended him indefinitely, but think about this(and it no way am I saying that he deserves to keep his job), but he has a wife at home, a wife that we know has experienced abuse at the hands of Ray Rice. How much more will this situation affect them at home, could it lead to more abuse? It's a huge responsibility. What kind of impact is this situation having on his wife? I'm bring it up because no one is talking about it. As a survivor of domestic violence and an advocate, I can probably imagine that his wife is feeling like everything is her fault, it's her fault that she got abused and everybody knows, it's now her fault that he has lost his job(of course that is what the public is saying right?)


If I am not mistaken, the NFL had her( Ray Rice's wife) apologizing more than they had Ray Rice apologizing, which is absolutely wrong. The NFL care more about Ray Rice and what he could do for them, than they cared about the well being of him and his family. I'm sick of it as well as many other things. I'm sick of hearing that she spit on him, she hit him, its her fault. While no man or woman should be putting their hands on anyone, we always have choices and he choose to knock her out to the point where she was unconscious and then he attempted to drag her out of an elevator, he didn't have a care in the world.

What about Ray Rice though? What about Him? Obviously, he learned this behavior from somewhere, who is going to sit down with him and offer to help him or just have a serious talk with him? It doesn't mean that he will change, but it doesn't mean that he won't either. Abuse is a learned behavior. A lot of times, how we can control our anger and ourselves period is learned whether we want to admit it or not. We know that Football(which I happened to love) is an aggressive sport, I happened to believe that football is therapeutic for a lot the players, but what happens when what you once loved or is therapeutic to you is no longer that way? What do you do then? You turn to other outlets and you lash out on others. I'm not making any excuses, i'm just stating the truth.

Women and Men, Ladies and Gentlemen, Domestic Violence, Domestic Abuse is NEVER OK. We have to stop making it OK, love is not abusing each other mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, or spiritually. When two people love one another, they bring out the best in each other and they try their best to live each other up. If you are with someone who is constantly bring out the worst in you, all you all do is fight, ya'll can barely stand to be around each other, then that is not the relationship for you. We all have choices. The sad thing about domestic violence is even in 2014 many people do not know what it is or do not understand it so they judge. We have to empower those that are experiencing abuse and pray for them so they can gain the strength to walk away. Some people NEVER make it out of an abusive relationship. When you decide to make comments think about if it was you and if you have never been in the situation even thinking about if it was you is not going to help. I pray that those who have never been in the situation will never be in it. This is serious, very serious.

To MY fellow advocates, survivors, and future survivors

The only true way that we can stop this epidemic is if we truly come together on a bigger level, work with each other(not against each other), and support one another. Some of you may know that I am working on a project for survivors and advocates and in return it will help the victims( I really don't like that word). I am asking you all to join together with me and whatever you need me to join together in with you, I will if I am able too. Please email me at nicolelofton@facingittoday.org Let's take a stand together.

God Bless,

Nicole C. Lofton
www.facingittoday.org
www.gardenofpurpose,com 

Monday, July 21, 2014

You Have A Voice That Deserves To Be Heard!

Are you a survivor that has a story to tell? Are you living in silence out of fear or judgement? The truth is that we all have a story and we all deserve to be heard.

Another truth is that your story can help someone else. Many times we go through things so that God can use us to bless someone else. Our pain has purpose.

I believe in testimonies, I believe that the power of a testimony is very strong. When you decide to tell your story, you not only help someone else, but you begin to release the hurt and the pain that you have held inside all of these years.

Once you see how your story is impacting others, you will begin to feel better and you will also learn that you are not alone. A lot of times when we go through situations we feel like we are alone because we probably have not met someone that went through what we are going through or simply because we are living in silence. My organization F.A.C.E. I.T.(Faith Advocates through Christ Excelling Individually and Together) seeks to be a platform for those who feel like they do not have a voice.

We encourage you to share your story whether you use your name or choose to be anonymous because we believe that is the best way to spread awareness. We place the stories on our site, but now I am even going to share them on this blog(as well as NEW site that we are working on). We are working on a BIG project and we need your help!

We need people who are willing to share their stories, it's time to overcome! We need volunteers to help us with social media, writing content, marketing, etc. We cannot do it without you! If you feel like to take part in this project or want more information then please email me at nicolelofton@facingittoday.org

God bless,
Nicole C. Lofton
The Purpose Pioneer



Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Stop Running To The Arms Of The One Who Does NOT Love You

This was something that was on my heart this morning and so instead of writing, I decided to speak it. Sometimes people need to hear things and I pray that this video blesses someone. Again, thank you to all who read my blog and God bless you.

-Nicole C. Lofton
www.facingittoday.org
www.gardenofpurpose.com





Saturday, May 3, 2014

Angels Will Soar ( A Music Video Spreading Awareness About Domestic Violence)


I am honored to be able to share this video made by Terry Josiah. Anything that I can do to raise awareness of Domestic Violence, I will do it. Thank you to all who read my blog and all work to spread awareness about this very important subject. We are all end this together.

-Nicole C. Lofton



This song is for anyone who has ever been affected by Domestic Violence and its purpose is to raise awareness on this growing epidemic. If you have been affected or know someone who has - share your story with us by hash-tagging #AngelsWillSoar - you'll be amazed at the support you receive.


A portion of the proceeds will be used to directly help survivors through the non profit organization Break The Silence Against Domestic Violence. We are here to start changing the world - one song at a time.

Enjoy your new shirts and bracelets and remember; it's not about whether you have the money to buy a shirt or not, it's about having your money stand for something greater than yourself. :-)(-:

ON FACEBOOK:
Follow Break the Silence at https://www.facebook.com/breakthesilence1
Follow the Music Life Change Grp at https://www.instagram.com/Terry_Josiah


ON INSTAGRAM:
Follow Break The Silence at https://www.instagram.com/btsadv
Follow Terry Josiah at https://www.instagram.com/Terry_Josiah
Follow Ian Wolfson at https://www.instagram.com/rexarrow 

ON TWITTER:
Break The Silence https://www.twitter.com/M1ssKristen
Terry Josiah https://www.twitter.com/The_Real_Siah
Ian Wolfson https://www.twitter.com/RexArrowFilms

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Is The Law Failing Domestic Violence Victims/Survivors



I hope that this post does not causes an uproar, but this is something that really needs to be discussed. I am not here to pass judgment in anyway, I am just simply here to state my opinion, explore a topic, and to start a discussion. There is something that has been troubling me lately and that something is the number of recent cases of children being killed under court-order supervision. I start to wonder how does that happen? Then I started to think about domestic violence and the laws in general. You see the law makers want us to uphold these laws and follow through, but they do not enforce the laws. It seems that LAW ENFORCEMENT has slowly disappeared.

This is not to say that this is the case for everyone, but it is the case for most. The law tells those who are experiencing domestic violence to leave and get a restraining order. The restraining order is suppose to mean that the abuser cannot come near them, they also tell the person who is being abused not to have any contact with the abuser. Now I understand that not everybody follows through with this, but I can make the case that one of the reasons why they don't is because they feel like it's not going to help, which in more than some cases it doesn't. It seems the law makers have put out to society that restraining or protective orders do not work because people don't follow through.

So now, society feels like that is the case for all domestic violence victims/survivors and that is not the case. What about the victims/survivors who do follow through? The ones that do EVERYTHING that the law tells them to do and they still get harmed, killed, or even their children or family members get killed. Yes, I am upset about this. Because it time for the law makers to take some accountability here. In the past few months, there have been two stories of men who have killed their kids during court ordered supervised visits and what I happened to notice was that none of the news article said anything about where the supervisor was. Why are we not talking about this?

In New Hampshire, back in august, a man by the name Muni Savyon, killed his son and then killed himself at the YWCA. You can read more about this here :http://www.wmur.com/news/nh-news/police-investigate-incident-at-manchester-ywca/-/9857858/21420662/-/hsn7iwz/-/index.html#mid=17979707.  The mother of his child had a restraining order against him( although most of the news report failed to mention this fact), he had also told her that he would either kill her and their child or himself and their child, which he did. Their son was only 9 years old, I can't imagine what either of their families is going through. What about the mother of his child though? I wonder how she feels knowing that she did everything she could to protect herself and her son. She did what the law told her to do after all the law was created "to serve and protect" right?

Now, even more recently than that, in December of 2013, just a month ago. A man by the name of
Dmitriy Kanarikov in New York threw his 3 yr old off a building during a supervised visit. http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/nyc-crime/man-dies-jumping-midtown-building-3-year-old-article-1.1555670  I mean I really am starting to wonder here. I know many people have issues with coming to terms with domestic violence, they don't believe its serious, they think its a joke, or the man or woman is just stupid for dealing. But if you have never been in the situation, it would be hard for you to understand. Of course you would not understand the physical, mental, and emotional pain that  a person endures that could last a lifetime. You would understand somebody saying they love you, but constantly mistreating you. You would not understand somebody threatening you, your family, your friends, even possibly your co-workers if you leave them. Not only that, you would not understand even after you leave(like everybody says that you should), your life still being in danger, even after you have followed through with the law, because the law is not following through with you.

Now,  I am not saying all laws are bad, but I am saying there has to be something done. We all have to do our part even law makers and officials. I believe in teaching domestic violence survivors/victims how to be independent of the law. This is includes creating a safety plan, getting a circle of people you can trust, being smart about the situation, because after all it is clear that you cannot depend on the law. But you can survive without it!

I also understand that the court system wants to do what is best for the child, but who is to really decide that? Is it best for a child to be around a parent that is abusive? It is best for a child to be around a parent that is threatening harm towards the child or other parent? These are just things to think about.

So yes, this is my little rant because my heart is hurting for my fellow survivors and those that are currently going through domestic violence. There have even been many causes of domestic violence victims/survivors losing the custody of their kids to the abuser. It is easy for the abusers to appear just fine and make the victim seem like she is crazy. Abusers are very charming and intelligent. I ask that we please keep an open mind before we judge domestic violence victims/survivors, they already endure enough.



Saturday, January 18, 2014

Pro-Wrestling Personality Goldy Knows Allows Domestic Violence Survivor Mary To Shine During Interview!


Yesterday, something amazing happened. Before I continue on with that I want to again say a huge THANK YOU to all my readers, you are the reason why I continue to write. The best thing about blogging is one never really knows who is reading and what will come from it. I started this blog because I was encouraged to start blogging. The only subject that I could think of (at first) was domestic violence and I am so glad that I did it!

Anyway, back to yesterday. I received a comment on my blog from Goldy Knows. For those who do not know, Goldy knows is a pro-wrestling personality, a motivational speaker, a singer, as well as a host of other things. Goldy is really big on Charity and now has her own reality show. In the comment that Goldy left, there was link to her show and on this particular show she interviewed a domestic violence survivor named Mary.




I love to help and work with anybody who is supporting this cause, In fact, I love to help and support any cause, because you never know how it will inspire someone. I was honored not only that Goldy stumbled across my blog, but that she did this interview. What was special and unique about this interview was that Goldy and her best friend created three paintings on their own for Mary and also made her a headboard for her bed. Along with that they received donated items from some stores to also put in Mary's bed. I thought that was awesome and uplifting.

When Mary walked in her room(where the interview was being held), she was so surprised and happy. To someone else this may not seem like much, but when you have been through a traumatic experience, something like this can be everything to a person. This was a very touching interview and I love that Goldy truly allowed Mary to Shine while telling her story. There was no judgements passed or anything just simply love and understanding.  I welcome you to check out the interview people and share it with people that you know.

Thank you for watching, reading, and sharing and thank you Goldy Knows for your contribution to raising awareness for Domestic Violence.




Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Words Can Do More Than Hurt, They Can Damage

"Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" How many of you remember quoting this? I remember as a little kids learning this phrase from someone at school and then chanting it myself. How soon, do we find that this is absolutely far from the truth?

In fact, words could possibly do more damage than a stick could depending on the situation. I think how many times I have been or heard stories about people who have been scarred from some words that were said to them. Even sometimes, we hurt people with out words. I think about how many people especially when it comes to relationships have been told something disrespectful and believed it. Sometimes they believe to the point that they becomes someone else or they shut down. Being told that you are ugly, fat, too skinny, stupid, dumb, or even worst than that you really damage someone. While some people can quickly overcome hearing things like this, it takes others a long time.

If you pay attention to anyway that tells a story, you will mostly always hear them talk about the words that someone said to them, whether the words were positive or negative, it shows you that people pay a great deal of attention to what is being said to them. Why do we do that? Well, I believe it is done because it helps us pay attention to a persons actions, are there words matching their actions and vice versa. Most of the time, these hurtful words come from people that we care about and that is what makes the words damaging.

We really should be careful with out words, we never know who they can hurt and what kind of reaction they can cause in a person. I saw this picture that I will post below that really sums up everything that I have wrote here and I absolutely think it is so true.

Beatrice the Biologist is right, words do infect the mind and if you take a look back at how many times you have been affected by what someone said to you, you will see how true it is. Even in the Bible it says that "words have the power of life and death"(Proverbs 18:21). Let us choose to be careful with our words, let us give life to someone with out words even if they are doing otherwise to us. I am definitely going to work harder on this. Thank you for reading!

Monday, January 13, 2014

Trouble Doesn't Last Always

This post stems from the winter weather that some of us have been having. Here in Chicago, about a week or two ago the weather was crazy. It was snow everywhere and mostly all the schools were shut down for at least two days.

Then something happened, it started raining a lot, and then the snow was gone. Now, I know you might be thinking what was so great or intriguing about that. Well, I am glad that you asked because I am excited to share with you.

 The next day, I started thinking about how the snow storm made people feel. People were frustrated because they couldn't leave the house, people didn't want to try to shovel all of that snow, people were worried would they be safe on the road if they did leave the house, and I am sure there were all kind of thoughts running across peoples minds. It really did look a mess outside, but I couldn't help think about how in one day that rain washed all the snow away and everything that we were thinking while the snow storm was happening, was washed away as well.

That particular scenario reminded me that trouble doesn't last always. I started to think about how sometimes we get so absorbed in the things that are happening to us or around us and we forget that it is only temporary. God can change everything in just one day or even last them that. Most times, if we take our minds off the situation, it won't bother us as much.


As always, thank you for reading,

Nicole Lofton

Friday, January 10, 2014

Sometimes, You Have To Learn To Just Let Go.



Have you ever wanted something so bad and once you got it, it was nothing like what you thought it would be? Furthermore, after you figured out that it was not what you thought, you still tried to hold on to it? Well, you are not alone, because I have too. One thing that I have learned and I am still learning is that sometimes you just have to learn to let it go. You see sometimes we try to mold and fix situations and people into what we want them/it to be even when we see it is not working. The end result is that it is hurts us because either we refuse to let go or we hold on to it for too long.

Just like some relationships, we see they are not working, but we hold on. Now, some relationships are good to hold on too, because relationships take time. How much time is up for you to decide though. If you are compromising too much of yourself, it will take a toil on you. We hold on to relationships for different reasons. Sometimes we actually believe they will work, sometimes we just can't stand the fact of them not working, sometimes we are trying to fill a void of loneliness, and sometimes we just want it to work. It is possible to get lost in a relationship and also lose time that you cannot get back. I believe deep down when know we something is not going to work and the longer we hold on, the more we damage ourselves emotionally.

Now, this doesn't just happen in relationships, this happens with familyships ( yes, I made that up), friendships, and it even happens in the workplace.  Sometimes we have to distance ourselves from friends and family. I often find that people struggle more with distancing themselves from family due to the saying "blood is thicker than water", which in most cases is not true. You see because I have a different definition of blood that extends beyond family. I also have to consider my brothers and sisters in Christ,I also know that God says that will be a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Sometimes family will turn on you quicker than anybody. You can love from a distance though, while still praying for them. It doesn't mean that you and that family member cannot be close again. There is a time, a season, and a reason for everything. Elevation requires separation.





Finally, yes sometimes we hold on to our jobs/careers too long. When you get to a point where you are no longer happy, when you are being treated unfairly, when you are not making enough money to take care of your family, it could be a sign to move on. I don't mean just up and quit(although some do), you can still be on the job search while keeping your current job. Sometimes people are scared to search for other places of employment because they feel they are not qualified or it won't be the same. If that is you, I have some news for you: God qualifies those that he called and you can be assured that He has called you as well as qualified you.

Another suggestion is to discover your passion, that could make your current job easier to deal with. What do you really aspire to do? How can you do it? Why aren't you doing it? Just somethings to think about. In reality though, we(including myself), really do need to learn how to let go. Some people and things do have a time limit in ourselves, lets not let that time exceed its limit.

God bless,

Nicole Lofton




Wednesday, January 8, 2014

It's Okay To Not Have All The Answers


I just love that quote from Katrina Mayer, because it is true that we do not have all the answers. I often see many people that struggle with the choices that they have made over the course of their lives. I hear them say "if I had known this, then I would have did that" or "I knew I should have did that instead of this".

So many times we including myself, get so mad at ourselves because of the choices we have made in life. I want to encourage you to let you know that it is okay and it is okay because we do not have all the answers. If we never make mistakes, then we will not have anything to learn from. I hate to even call them mistakes because they are simply life lessons.

 I believe that everything happens for a reason and that God allows us to make some choices so that we can learn from them. It would be nice if we could just learn from what others have done, but we don't always learn like that. Sometimes we have to make a decison that does not give us the outcome that we desired, in order to learn and grow.

Unfortnately sometimes we do not take things to heart until we experience them for ourselves. Now, so what you entered a bad relationship, maybe you got pregnant out of wedlock, maybe you had an abortion, maybe you had more kids that you expected, maybe you got married and got a divorced, maybe you didn't finish school, maybe you are unemployed, whatever happened in your past it is okay. Some of our best experiences in life come when we didn't have the answer because it gave you the opportunity to learn something new.

So what do you when you don't have all the answers? Well, I do not have the answer to that, I can only tell you what I do or would I would do and maybe that could help. I have learned to pray when I do not have all the answers, because I know that God has all the answers and He will never lead me astray. The key thing hear though is that we have to be open to recieving the answer from Him, knowing that it may be what we expected. If you are not someone who prays then I would say take your time before making a decision, really think it out, but do no overthink it.

Also, do not make a decision based off of emotion, that it one of the worst things that we can do. When we make decisions off of emotions, it can lead to regret, because at that point and time we were only making a decision off of how we felt at that particular moment. When making a decision we have to try to see the whole picture and think how will this decision affect me or those around me in the long run? I pray that you enjoy this post.

Obtaining True Happiness


Today, decided to post a video, that I did a couple of months ago. This video is about obtaining true happiness. Although, I cannot tell anyone how to truly obtain it, I can give my view on it. When I say true happiness, I mean being happy inspite of circumstances. I mean being happy even when you do not want to be or feel that you cannot be. How do you obtain your happiness? I would love to hear from you. I hope you enjoy the video.

                                         Nicole Lofton




Monday, January 6, 2014

It's Okay To Struggle

I thought about sharing a quote and maybe I will, who knows? I am just free-styling this post right now, but this was on my heart. A lot of times when we are struggling, we tend to think that it's a bad thing and although I know that it feels like it, struggling is actually a good thing. Like Frederick Douglas said and I quote "No struggle, no progress". 

Being a Domestic Violence Advocate or really just an advocate in general and a Christian Life Coach, my view on many issues has changed. I have learned to view the most negative things in a more positive way in order to stay encouraged and it works. I mean truly if everything was going the way that we wanted it too and nothing ever went wrong, what would we really learn from that? All we would learn is that we can have everything that we want, how we want it, and when we want it. We would also learned that we do not have to earn or work from anything. Just like a spoiled child, they get everything they want and if they are still spoiled once they become an adult, then they start to expect things and are not willing to work for it (not all, but some). 





I personally believe that our struggle prepares us for what's to come, it helps us believe in ourselves, and exceeds our expectations of ourselves. Through our struggle, we come alive, we learn who we really are. We become our true selves, only struggle can do that. Just like a coal when it is pressured, it becomes a diamond. We are that coal that is being pressured through our struggle, so that we can become that diamond that God created us to be. In this case, I am not comparing us to material things, because we are priceless. 




Today, I want you to know that it is OKAY to struggle, it's a good thing. You are being prepared for your purpose during your struggle and if you are already walking in your purpose, then you are being elevated during your struggle. 



Sunday, January 5, 2014

What If We Put More Strength Into Loving As We Do Into Fighting?


This happens to be one of my favorite quotes from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I absolutely love quotes because sometimes they say they words that I couldn't think of myself. In the title of the post, the word "fighting" is included. I want to first explain what I mean by fighting. When I say fighting, it does not just mean physical, it could be as simple as arguing. After all an argument usually comes before a fight, but a disagreement usually comes before an argument.

 I find that most times people find it hard to distinguish the words disagreement and argument. Just because you disagree with someone does not mean that you are arguing or even that you have to argue. Over the past two months, I started thinking about how different things would be if we just accepted each other for who we are. We have started to become a society where people cannot have an opinion without someone saying something negative about it (thank God for blogs right?) lol.

I started to wonder why is so hard to not only accept others for who they are, but better yet why is it so hard to agree to disagree? It takes so much energy to argue, debate, and fight than it does to love and humble ourselves. So many times we tear each other up down with words or simply because we have different viewpoints. Often times we try to make people feel bad for having a different view point.

With every platform that God has given me to utilize, including this blog, I try to respect everybody's opinion and to let everybody have a voice. Sometimes I even try to be the voice of the hurting people, even my name Nicole means "victory of the people". There are so  many people hurting and searching for their voice, they have allowed their voice to be taken away because of what others had to say. Today find your voice, writing/blogging is a great way to do that.

As Martin Luther King Jr. said "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." This quote has so much meaning. When I think about light vs. darkness I think about how God has called us to be the light because if we are being like everybody else we cannot shine our light. Some of our lights our dim, its time to light them up. I hope that you can feel my love and hope from reading this post and that it causes you to light up.

Lets agree to learn to accept others for who they are and agree to disagree. We can disagree in a loving manner. It is OK to have different viewpoints, that's what makes the world. If we were all the same, there would be no point for us to be living on this earth. Each and every one of us is unique and we all have something special to offer. We all have a special place on this earth.

I pray that you all have a blessed Sunday,

Nicole Lofton

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Let Your Loneliness Lead You To Greatness


At some point in time, we have all experienced a feeling of loneliness. For some, loneliness can be too much to bear. When we become lonely we start to replay memories of the past and we start to feel sad. Sometimes loneliness can also lead to depression.

This post is not just for those who have experienced or witnessed domestic violence, this post is for everyone. I wrote this post to encourage you because I too have experienced loneliness, but I believe that we can use our feelings of loneliness to lead us to greatness. Look at this quote below by Mr. Yousuf Karsh. I believe what He says is so true.

I believe that God uses loneliness to get us closer to Him, He uses loneliness to speak to us. Sometimes you need to be alone in order to think clearly. I know for me personally, I have prefer to be alone when I am working. It gives me time to focus and to relax. How can you fully create in a environment full of noise?



 
 
 
I would like to share another quote with you, this is a quote that actually changed my life a couple of years ago when I first saw it. Look at this quote below by Mr. Dag Hammarskjold.
 
 
 
At the time that I first saw this quote, I was going through a rough time in my life. A time when I felt alone and I wanted to give up, but this quote gave me life because I know that I have purpose. So instead of me allowing my loneliness to bring me down, why wouldn't I just allow it to lift me up? So I pose this question to you: What is your passion? Along with that question, when you start
 to feel lonely what are you wishing for?
 
I challenge you to allow your loneliness to lead you to lead  you to greatness. You would be surprise. What if you got lonely and just started to write? It's possible that it could turn into a book. What if you got lonely and start to sing? It's possible that it could turn into a song? What if you go lonely and found your purpose? If it wasn't for my loneliness, I'm sure that this blog wouldn't be here today. If it wasn't for my loneliness, I would not have discovered that my pain had purpose and that purpose is to help someone else who will or is going through what I'm going through.
 
So what will you do the next time you start to feel lonely? It is all up to you, but from me to you, I pray that it leads you to greatness.
 
 
God bless,
 
Nicole Lofton

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Real Love Makes You Better, Not Worse.

Yesterday, I was really thinking about some things, especially when it comes to relationships.I was thinking about how some relationships that we enter really bring us down and what we thought was love was really lust. Below is a tweet that I tweeted from my organizations account yesterday.





You see, sometimes we just enter relationships that we were never meant to be in, but they also teach us a lesson. If ever you get into a relationship where you are constantly losing out on who you are then that is not the relationship for me. I find most times though that there was already some sort of insecurity that we already had that opened us to wanting to be in that particular relationship. It is important that we come to learn what true love really is. It is so easy for someone to throw the love word around without putting any meaning to it. Love is a verb, not just an emotion. Love is not just something that you feel, it is something that is real, it is something that you do! If someone is not loving you, love yourself enough to leave or take a stand for yourself.

Lastly, I would like to leave you with this quote that I found this morning. I pray that this post is inspiring to you.

God bless,

Nicole Lofton