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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The Emotional Effects of Domestic Violence(Survey)

One of my favorite sayings and one that I came up with myself is "As advocates we should seek to understand more than we seek to be understood".  As a new and aspiring advocate I do not want to assume or come off as thinking that I know everything there is to know about domestic violence or any other causes for that matter.

 I see statistics all the time, but I am not really big on statistics. I am big on testimonies and learning about other peoples struggle and how they overcame. Because of that, I have created a survey in order to understand better the emotional affects of domestic violence. I would like to hear from you, if you would like to share. Let it be known that I do not want to turn this into statistics that is not what this is about, I just want to hear from people who have actually been through it.

 I have been through it myself, but in the process of wanting to help others, I also want to understand them. I realize that every situation is different and handling differently. I would like to ask you if you would take out the time to complete my survey. You do not have to give your name or tell me where you live. This probably will be the first of many surveys but it is a start. I would like to take out the time to thank all my readers, all my subscribers, everyone who has signed the NFL domestic violence petition, everyone who has shared my blog, I thank all advocates, survivors, and victims for staying strong and I pray that you continue to do so. I thank you in advance for taking my survey, God bless you all.

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey, the world's leading questionnaire tool.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Prayer Is The Key: Join us in praying for those in crisis

As advocates, survivors, people of faith, or just people who want change period, there is only so much that we can do but we cannot do it alone. Prayer is the key because faith without work is dead and vice versa. We have to intercede for those are going through a crisis. As we know this month (October) is National Breast Cancer, Bullying, and Awareness month, I would like to ask you all to join me in prayer every night this month at 9pm CT or whenever you can but preferably at night.

Why at night?

I believe that at night, as we wind down and have time to think, that is when our thoughts most consume us. Night Time is also the most loneliest and scariest for some. Let us be intercessors not only this month but period. I created this event on Evite ( Prayer for Those in Crisis) feel free to let us know if you will be joining us in prayer.

God Bless you all,

Nicole Lofton (@NicoleCherese) on Twitter
Founder of F.A.C.E. I.T. (@faceitorg) on Twitter

Thursday, October 4, 2012

The Last Time You Cry

In Honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I wanted to take the time out as a survivor to give back to those who still may be going through a domestic abuse situation or just an unhealthy relationship or situation period. While I do not have money to give, etc one thing I do have is faith, prayer, and HOPE. Because it is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I wanted to speak to the victims of Domestic Violence. Some times this is the hardest to do, but it is time for us as survivors and advocates to really speak from our hearts to the victims hearts. We don't need to be judgmental because we need to come from that place of understanding, if fact, we do come from that place of understanding because we KNOW and UNDERSTAND what they have went through because WE went through it too. We must not forget, we have to remember how we felt when we were going through it in order to TRY to understand what they are feeling, in order to try to understand why they haven't left yet, in order to try to understand why they are silent.

 I started my journey as an advocate in 2011 shortly after I left my own situation and I am still becoming an advocate, it is a journey, it is one that I am realizing that God is calling me too and has called me too. Lately, my heart has been for the victims, I want to give you all hope. Sometimes the internet is good to use to reach victims because the internet is world wide and many people read even if they do not comment. Last year, I saw a video by a artist named Pure..the video was for his song entitled "Last Time You Cry", it was a song about Domestic Violence, one that touched me deeply. One that truly portrayed a Domestic Violence relationship and its ups and downs, twists and turns. Today I wanted to take out the time to say to those who are in a domestic violence situation that after you read this, I HOPE and PRAY that this WILL be THE LAST TIME YOU CRY.

I know I have said many times in my post that you don't deserve to be treated badly, you don't deserve to be hurt, you don't deserve to be threatened, beaten, feeling insecure or neglected and your children do not deserve it either. BUT I also understand that you have to believe those things within and this takes time. I understand that because as I mention previously I come from a place of understanding. God said that we are FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made and right now you are probably not feeling wonderful because you are living in fear. God also said that there is NO FEAR in LOVE because perfect love(God's love) drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love (1 John 4:18). Now how does this relate to someone in an abusive relationship? Does it mean that you, the victim, is not made perfect in love? More than likely it probably means that your abuser is not made perfect in love...You see fear has to do with live in fear because your abuser threatens you, doesn't want you to have a life, makes you feel unpretty, when you do not conform to his ideals or do what he wants, he tries to PUNISH you but doing all those things listen above.

 Listen, and I pray that this really does speak to someone..God will never want to see you hurt, he wouldn't want you to be with someone that makes you feel like you are worthless, that makes you feel like you should have never been born, that is NOT love, that is simply CONTROL. You deserve so much better. I pray that God gives you the strength to walk away and that you receive it so that you can be FREE and discover the wonderful beautiful/handsome woman/man of God that you truly are. So that you can be FREE and discover your true purpose in life, so that you can be FREE and experience TRUE LOVE, HAPPINESS, AND JOY that comes from God. So that you can be FREE and NOT have to live in silence. So that you can be able to be the best parent that you can be to your children, so that one day you could be the best husband/wife to the REAL man or woman that God has for you. The man/woman that God has for you will compliment you, not beat you or try to destroy you. That is not who God has for you, wants for you, nor do you deserve it.

 Yes I pray that today is the LAST TIME THAT YOU CRY, I will post the video at the end of this post. I pray that you reach out to God today that you ask him to help you escape, that you ask him to help you love yourself and forgive yourself and even eventually forgive your abuser. I pray that God sends his angels concerning and that they surround you and encamp you until you gain the strength to leave, I pray that even after you leave, God's angels continue to be with you. I pray that you let all your hurt and pain our today, that you may experience that true happiness and peace that you deserve, That you may see and know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. I decree and declare that NO weapon formed against you, your family, or your friends shall prosper and that any tongue that comes up against you, your family, or your friends will be condemned. I pray all these things in Jesus Name Amen. If you have a testimony that you would like to share or if you have a personal question or prayer request you can email me at or visit my site at http://www.faceittoday,