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Monday, November 19, 2012

What we can learn from Hope Solo and her now Husband Jerramy Stevens

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233

 In recent news, there is a story that is being reported that has left a lot of people wondering and nobody seems to have answers but maybe there are some answers. American Soccer player and Olympic Gold Medalist Hope Solo were reported to have been in a domestic dispute a couple of days ago. Although, Hope chose not to speak on it or even press charges, the police still arrested her then fiancĂ© Jerramy Stevens( A Former NFL player). The incident was said to happen at a party and the police felt like they had enough reason/evidence to arrest Mr. Stevens.

What happened after that though, is what now has a lot of people wondering. It was said that Hope Solo refused to talk to the police and warned nobody else to talk to them as well-Let me be the first to say this is a sign that Hope is probably in an abusive relationship. See when it comes to domestic violence, the answers are not always clear but when one educates themselves on the subject, then the answers become a little clearer.

We know that people going through domestic violence are often scared or forced to not tell anyone about what is going on. It is common for those going through domestic violence to feel like they are in love and want to protect the image of their partner no matter what, is this what Hope is doing? I do not know. I am just simply pointing out details of the story that are accurate descriptions of signs of domestic violence.

Moving forward, we find that the next morning Mr. Jerramy Stevens was let out of Jail due to enough evidence, which is not surprising because this is also common in domestic violence cases. We also hear that shortly after that Hope Solo and Jerramy Stevens got married, is that surprising? Nope not surprising either but to a lot of people it does come as a surprise. People are now wondering why she did not talk to the police and why did she rush to marry him so sudden. These are questions that should be raised but may not receive an answer.

Rushing into a relationship/marriage(They had only been dating for two months) is also a sign of domestic violence. You see Hope didn't press charges and now she is married so to her she may think everything is okay. She may think that she has solved her problems. This is something that happens often, in an abusive relationships, marriage is not the answer, it will not solve the problem.  Covering up the abusive will not solve it either, it will only make it worst.

I feel for Hope because I have been there. I have been there trying to protect the image of someone who did not care to protect my image when he chose to verbally abuse me, threaten me , and control me. This story means a lot to me because I am a survivor of domestic violence and I also have the NFL domestic violence petition going around but I will say that for later.

If you are facing a situation similar to Hope's, you know someone that is, or you even THINK you may know someone is please understand that it is not okay. it is just never okay for a person to put their hands on you, mistreat you, or control you. It is okay to reach out to someone. Know that you are not alone, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline if you do not feel like  you can talk to someone close to you. If you know someone that is going through domestic violence my advice would be to research as much as you can about domestic violence, learn the signs, read on how to approach the situation and most importantly be non judgmental and be understanding.

Hope Solo and Jerramy Stevens situation is not unusual, it is very common that is what we can learn from it. It happens every day, more than one a day. In order to understand domestic violence and the seriousness of it, the cycle of domestic violence has to be understood. My prayers are both with Hope Solo and Jerramy Stevens. Love is not abuse.

Feel free to leave a comment, as a discussion regarding domestic violence is very much needed and helpful.