Thursday, October 20, 2011
You say you love me but when you get mad, you hate me.
You say there is no one you would rather spend the rest of your life with
BUT..when you get mad you say you wish you never met me.
You say I'm the best thing that ever happened to you
BUT..then you turn around and curse me, hurt me,
threaten to take my life and possibly even attempt to take my life.
What is this that we are going through? What has gotten a hold of you?
Or what has gotten a hold of me?
That i have decided to stay in-spite of all this dismay, in-spite of all this hurt and pain.
You are begging me to stay as I proceed to leave and I stop for a minute as i see the tears roll down Your eyes saying you love me and you never meant for me to cry,
You say you know I didn't deserve what I was getting.
You put my pain at ease for a minute.
I think you love me at least I hope.. because I know I love you,
So I decide to stay and say ok lets make it work.
BUT then later you start to turn on me again, it starts to feel like a repeat of a sin that I continue to commit again and again.
And I say to the Lord deliver me from this, heal me and release me.
I realize I don't know my worth, I start to feel like this is some sort of curse.
What did i do to deserve this?
Tormented and degraded by someone who loves me or loves themselves rather...
Domestic Violence Voices...
These are the voices that I hear when I try to be strong and move on
BUT thankfully I'm getting to hear the spiritual voice,
That is moving me along, healing my hurts, helping me realize my worth,
Showing me what true love is and I now believe that I can begin again
And live a life of freedom where I don't have to fear for myself or my family and friends.
Don't get me wrong, I definitely know that domestic violence is not easy to talk about period but the truth of the matter is that women are more likely to speak out than men are. Why is that? Why aren't men speaking up and speaking out? There is a reason and I am not saying that I know the reason but as advocates we have to think about things like that, maybe the same reasons that LBGT are not speaking out about domestic violence but that is a whole different story, that's another blog. We have to stop being so bias when it comes to the issues of our COMMUNITIES.
I am not trying to get you to understand me at all because my motto is "As advocates we must seek to understand more than we seek to be understood" which actually spins off a verse in the Bible, but it came to me one day and I held on to that. So right now I'm seeking to understand and trying to encourage others to seek to understand as well. One thing that I am trying to get to be understood is that in order to tackle domestic violence as a whole we have to reach out to men and women. If we work together, we can make a difference. Just think even in marriage.. GOD said it is not good for man to be alone so i will create for Him a helper(the woman) so that means that men and women need each other NOT saying that we should be NEEDY or dependent. What I am saying is what if you are a woman who strictly advocates for women and vice versa for men? What if women, God wanted to use you to reach a man? Men, what if God wanted you to reach a woman? Ask yourself how would you do it? Sometimes we block blessings and miss opportunities for a variety of reasons. I for one, use to always say that I had a passion for women and children, I could relate to women because I am a women. I use to say I wanted a daughter first, then guess what? GOD gave me a son as my first child and my only child as of right now. I started to take a step back and look at how God did and was in fact using me to reach men and talk to them about Him and that opened my eyes so now that I am becoming an advocate for domestic violence, I have a passion for women, men, and children. I have a passion for the FAMILY, I have a passion for the PEOPLE.
One other thing, I am not trying to take away from statistics, statistics are good in certain circumstances but you have to look at how these statistics were developed and WHO developed them, it is important that we look at those and do our own research. The truth about statistic is that numbers CHANGE daily. I say that to say this..DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CAN AND DOES HAPPEN TO ANYMORE, IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT GENDER IT HAPPENS TO MOST, WHAT MATTERS IS THAT IT IS HAPPENING PERIOD AND THIS IS A HUGE PROBLEM.
Sometimes we get in Gods way, I want to courage everyone to truly seek God and put our past and mindsets away and let God use us, im not saying that He wants to use you in the way I have explain but maybe he wants to use you in a different way that you dont know about yet.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A RAPIDLY GROWING EPIDEMIC THAT HAS CAUSED MANY TO SUFFER. MANY ARE SUFFERING IN SILENCE, MANY HAVE CHOSEN TO TAKE THEIR OWN LIVES, MANY ARE WITHOUT A PLACE TO STAY, MANY HAVE DIED AT THE HANDS OF ANOTHER, MANY ARE DEPRESSED, MANY ARE TRYING TO FIND THEMSELVES. IF WE COME OUT OF THE STEREOTYPES WE CAN BE SURE TO MAKE A BIGGER DIFFERENCE, SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE. MY HEART GOES OUT TO ALL VICTIMS, SUFFERS, FAMILIES AND ADVOCATES. MY GOD CONTINUE TO RESTORE YOU, GIVE YOU HOPE, STRENGTH, WISDOM, MAY HE CONTINUE TO CARRY YOUR BURDENS AND HELP YOU RELEASE THEM. MAY HE CREATE IN YOU A HEART, MIND AND SOUL. MAY HE CONTINUE TO KEEP YOU, USE YOU AND BLESS YOU.