Are Domestic Violence Laws Still Failing Victims? A Call for Real Protection
 |
| Photo by Stewart Munro on Unsplash |
Today, I return to this blog with a heavy heart and a renewed fire.
Back in 2014, I wrote a post called “Is the Law Failing Domestic Violence Victims/Survivors?” At the time, I was fueled by frustration — by the stories of survivors who were doing everything they were “supposed” to do and still falling through the cracks.
Here we are, years later, and I find myself right back in that place — disturbed, frustrated, and heartbroken. Lately, I’ve seen far too many news stories about people being murdered by their abusers even after they had restraining orders in place. It’s terrifying. It’s devastating. And it’s proof that paper alone does not protect people.
A System That Isn’t Working — Not Fully
This is not about blaming one person or one system. It’s about recognizing that our entire response to domestic violence is fractured.
Restraining orders are often treated as an ending — when really, they should be the beginning of a coordinated plan to protect a victim’s life. There’s little to no follow-up. There’s rarely a safety net. And when something happens, we all say, “It’s such a tragedy,” and move on to the next headline. But that person had a name, a life, and a future that was stolen.
I’m tired of seeing victims do everything right — calling the police, filing reports, getting restraining orders — and still ending up on the evening news for the worst reason imaginable.
We Need More Than Paper — We Need Protection
I don’t have all the answers, but I know we can do better.
Here are just a few things that could start shifting the tide:
-
Immediate Separation at the Scene: When police respond to a DV call, there should be a clear process for separating the parties if there is evidence of harm or threats — not just a warning and leaving them in the same home.
-
On-Site DV Advocates or Counselors: A trained advocate or counselor should be dispatched alongside officers to assess what’s really happening — whether it’s verbal conflict or escalating to physical danger.
-
Emergency Court Hearings: If threats or violence are confirmed, there should be an emergency hearing scheduled within 24–48 hours, with safe temporary housing provided for the victim until then.
-
Child Safety Without Additional Trauma: If children are present but unharmed, they should be temporarily placed with trusted family or friends, not automatically taken into DCFS custody — because survivors shouldn’t be punished for being abused.
This would take a village of professionals working together — law enforcement, courts, advocates, social workers, community organizations, and legislators — but victims’ lives are worth that effort.
Something Has to Change
Domestic violence kills. It kills quietly and loudly, slowly and suddenly. And if we don’t make real changes to how we respond, it will keep killing.
We can’t bring back the lives already lost, but we can fight to save the ones still here. Survivors deserve more than sympathy — they deserve protection. They deserve action.
And I’m ready to be part of that fight.
💜 Join the Conversation
I know this is a heavy topic, but it’s one we can’t afford to ignore. If you are a survivor, an advocate, a professional, or simply someone who cares, I’d love to hear from you.
-
What changes do you believe could save lives?
-
What gaps have you witnessed in the system?
-
What support do you wish had existed when you needed it most?
Please share your thoughts, experiences, or ideas in the comments below — or if you prefer, you can email me directly at info@purposewhispers.com
Written by Nicole C. Lofton — survivor, advocate, and founder of End the Silence, Stop the Violence and Purpose Whispers.
Related reading:
Comments
Post a Comment