DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AS A WHOLE

Hello Everyone, It has been a while since I have written on this blog. I just wanted to thank you all for all of your support over the years. It is because of you all that this blog still gets as many readers, comments, and support as it does. I truly cherish all of you. I want to talk about the importance of sharing our stories. I believe this is especially important for Domestic Violence Survivors because we are know to suffer in silence. The more we stay silence, the more we keep ourselves from healing and the longer we neglect to bless someone else who may be going through Domestic Violence. We overcome for sharing of our testimonies.   Yesterday, I shared my testimony is some details probably the most detailed I ever had publicly. It was very freeing and I know it will be a blessing to someone. I went live on Facebook for the first time ever. I shed light on emotional abuse as domestic violence is often viewed as only physical, but people need to understand that emotional...

Photo by  Alex Iby  on  Unsplash I have been contemplating writing this post because I know what I am going to discuss is serious and sensitive on many different levels. Not only is domestic violence in itself a serious topic, but the topic of the Coronavirus is a serious one at that. Both of these topics are sensitive in a sense that there are many different views and opinions on them. They also can bring about many different emotions for some people. However, before I get started, I need to have a transparent moment with my readers. It has definitely been a while since I have written a post on this blog. It was not because I gave up on raising awareness on domestic violence, it was just solely due to the trials of life. In may of 2019, I developed a health issue that affected my hands. Because of that, I couldn't really type or write as much I was use to doing. I also had personal issues that overwhelming just affected me to the point where I was just in a differe...

Greetings! If you live in the Chicagoland area, you do not want to miss this powerful live monologue written by Patti Ann Taylor. Patti Taylor is the founder of nonproft entitled "The Taylor House". 50 Shades of Bruises; I am free is dedicated to Patti Taylor's aunt Pamela Ann Taylor who died of suicide after being abused for 16 years.  The monologue will be held on Wednesday, September 5th, 2018 from 6pm-10pm at Instituto Cervantes .  Tickets can be purchased on eventbrite, by clicking here  50 Shades Of Bruises Tickets . Space is limited and tickets are selling fast so let's make sure we pack the house! 

There were so many nights I did not think I would make it to see another day but; through my pain and sorrows I made it  to see the sun once again. Life at times seemed unbearable and I did not think I deserve to be here. Once I grasped for air and took a long swallow I felt a gush of wind awaken my soul. My mind rehearsed maybe there's room for me. I began to think I was worthy once again that was up until the slap of fire burned my face. I doubted the seeds of I can make it and I fell into life of despair. Slowly feeling like life will pass me by; only if I can dream once again. Abuse stole my identity leaving me to feel like a failure as my head hung low in shame. The song that penetrated my heart "I am a survivor as I roared my way back to health". I can, I will make it became my found new friends and the road to recovery was my way back to destiny. I am healed, I am free but most of all I am a survivor"  Vernell T. Mackie (c) 2018 No part of this poem...

The Truth About Substance Abuse and Domestic Violence By Michelle Peterson of Recovery Pride ( RecoveryPride.org) It’s no secret that substance abuse and domestic violence are correlated. Alcoh olics and those who use drugs are more likely to commit spousal abuse than those who don’t. An alarming 61 percent of domestic violence offenders abuse substances and they often blame their explosive behavior on being under the influence. Substance abuse does not cause domestic violence, but because of the strong link between the two, they must be treated simultaneously. Here’s a deeper look on domestic violence, substance abuse, and how to combat both. Domestic violence and power As defined by the Department of Justice, domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. It is a common misconception that those who abuse their partners are always heavily intoxicat...

"This original song Highlighting Domestic Violence - Recorded by the Crocked Monsieurs in support of Refuge - please take time to share this. BUY THE SONG NOW and help raise money for Refuge on iTunes http://goo.gl/f9HRS This song was inspired by conversations between a close friend of the band who was relating her own experiences of Domestic Violence to them. The song has been featured on several Radio Stations and was included on Red Dragon Records stunning compilation CD 2nd Renaissance. This video was voted video of the Month for May 2014 on Talentcast. Home Sweet Home continues to receive positive reviews over 1 year after release, Home Sweet Home the original domestic violence awareness song in support of Refuge."

This Infographic was made and sent to me by Law Offices of Randy Collins, I think this is a great infographic so I decided to share, if you would like to put it on your blog, website, etc please visit their site at  https://domestic-violence-law.com/30-signs-of-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship/#forward Courtesy of Law Offices Of Randy Collins

Today, I checked my email and to my surprise, I had an email from Laura Martin , who happens to live in Spain. One thing that I love about my blog is that I am able to reach and communicate with people all over the world. It truly is a blessing to me. I truly did not realize the impact that this blog would have on so many people including myself when I first started it. I am really humbled.  Laura Martin wrote a song called " Quierete  (Latin)" which in English means " Love Yourself ". Although the song is in Spanish, Laura has provided subtitles in English. I would encourage you to listen and share the video. It is a beautiful song.  Click below to listen.  Feel free to visit  Laura's website Laura Martin Music    or her blog Laura Martin Music Blog   to learn more about her. As always, thanks for reading! Much love and God Bless, Nicole Lofton If you would like to contact me, please email me at nicole@gardenofpurp...

My Baby Shot Me Down Hello All! This time I am here to write to you about a film that I recently just learned about entitled My Baby Shot Me Down  When the My Baby Shot Me Down  twitter account followed me, I instantly wanted to know more about the film. It appears that the film is not out yet, but  it will be out soon. The film is by Daniella Daemy and is being made in the UK. Of course being the advocate that I am, I just had to share it with you all. I just love sharing anything that has to do with raising awareness of domestic violence. In fact, I get excited because this is a cause that is dear to not only my hear, but I know that is dears to yours as well. Although I do not know much about the film, I do know that it is about five women that seek revenge and kidnap men who I believe have committed domestic violence. Feel free to check out the IMDB page that has been created for the film here  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5126930/ Feel free to follow...

Nya Marquez Hello, everyone! Today, I am happy to write to you about this amazing song and video that was made by 13 year old Nya Marquez . I absolutely love music and I love when it brings awareness to an important cause especially domestic violence. While on Twitter  about two months ago, I happened to come across the twitter page of Nya Marquez , in which I saw her promoting her song that she made to bring hope and healing to those affected by domestic violence. I have to say that I was and I still am very touched by Nya's song " No, No More ". I think that  it is such a beautiful song and Nya is a beautiful person inside and out. To be 13 years old spreading such an inspiring and important message is very beautiful. I hope that you are as touched and inspired, by the song and the video as I am. Please share and reach out to Nya on twitter  @nyaband and show your support for what she is doing to raise awareness for domestic violence.  Below, is the w...

Hello Again! I have yet again something to share with you all today lol.  I finally finished my ebook/pdf "The Miseducation of Domestic Violence:Dispelling The Myths In Order To Promote The Truth This is just a small PDF and this is something that has been on my heart. There are so many myths about domestic violence and I always try to dispel those myths. I addressed 10 of them that I feel are common or that I hear about the most.  I pray that this blesses someone, please feel free to share it as well. If you would like to get in contact me, you can email me at nicole@faithfuldeedsfoundation.org  You can view the eBook by clicking on the cover or you can download it by clicking here  The Miseducation Of Domestic Violence

Hello again to all my wonderful readers and supporters! Once again, I have something to share with you. As you know already, I love to see or hear about people spreading awareness about domestic violence and I am always open to working with anyone supporting this cause. I was blessed to receive an email from singer/songwriter Laura Baron who shared with me that she had made a music video to raise awareness for domestic violence. When people reach out to me, I like to take my time to actually listen or read what is that they are doing, have done, or want to do so it did take me a couple of days to watch the video in its entirety. I can honestly say that I absolutely love this video. The video is very emotional but I appreciate the realness of it. It tells and shows the story of a woman breaking free from domestic violence. I believe that this is a video that everyone should see. I am happy to be able to blog about it and share it with you all today. I am happy to present to y...

I am thoroughly excited that Ashton Kutcher and his media company A Plus have decided to join the fight against domestic violence. Domestic Violence is still a cause that needs much attention and I always think it is awesome when celebrities help raise awareness. I know that ANYBODY can raise awareness, but celebrities can raise awareness on a bigger scale and so I think what Ashton Kutcher and his media team are doing is amazing.  What they have done is created an infographic that shows, in their words, "the effects of abuse that outlast physical violence, but are still detrimental". The infographic basically shows what happens after abuse and how it affects the survivor as far as their children, their employment, and their living situations go.  Infographics are great because some people are visual, meaning they need to see something in order to understand it. Not everyone can or wants to read a long paragraph or a bunch of statistics simply because it is not...

Dear Survivor, I hope this message finds you at the right time in your life. It's been a while since I have wrote on this blog, but I am always grateful for all of you who still read and keep up with this particular blog. I have a very important message on my heart. It is one that God has placed on my heart this week and that message is that it is time to heal. This is only goes for you, but it  goes for me as well. It is time for us to heal and allow ourselves to be free to be ourselves again as well as to love and be loved. Now I know some people may feel like they have already healed. I felt that way too, but sometimes we are only temporarily or half way healed. The moment that we keep replaying our situation and it brings us down instead of uplifting us, that is a sign that we are not yet healed. The moment when we try to begin a new relationship or endeavor, but the memories of the past begin to haunt us and hold us back, then we are not healed yet. The moment we fee...

Dear Survivor, Has anyone ever told you thank you for surviving? If not, then I would like to be the first person to tell you, so here it goes: THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR SURVIVING! Now, some may be wondering, why I decided to say that or what that really means. What it means is that, surviving domestic violence is more than just leaving or escaping an unhealthy relationship, because even after you do that, you still have to SURVIVE. A lot of people do not understand what domestic violence survivors go through on a daily basis, they have to fight emotions, block out negative thoughts, maybe even tune out negative people, they have to learn to love themselves again, they have to learn to believe in themselves again, they have to believe they are are worth living, they have to learn to trust again and most importantly they have to HEAL! Surviving is not something that happens overnight, surviving is something that you do everyday, so from one survivor to another, I just really wanted...

To My Readers: As most of you or all of you probably know, this month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and lately I've really had a lot on my heart. Although I haven't lost anyone to domestic violence, I am a survivor and I started to think about those who have lost someone due to domestic violence. I can't imagine how hard it is especially during this month for those families and friends who are remembering their loved ones. So while raising awareness, I did not want to neglect to send my condolences and uplift those that have lost someone due to domestic violence. Of course my words cannot take away the pain that you may feel, but hopefully my words and prayers can bring you some hope and encouragement. As a life coach, I always  like to focus on pain in purpose. It was from my painful experiences that I have found my purpose. I want to encourage you to use your pain and share it with others. Share the stories of your loves ones because you never know wh...

It seems we meet again. I remember in 2012, when I started a petition for the NFL to wear purple for domestic violence and everybody was in an uproar. While, there were many supporters, there were many against it as well. There were even some fellow advocates against it only because it said wear purple and not what they felt that it should say, so some of them created their own petitions, which I am not against because I believe the more the merrier, but really where has it gotten us? As advocates we are still so divided amongst a cause that is suppose to be promoting togetherness. Perhaps, if we stood strong together we would be making a bigger impact. These are just my thoughts. If you want to know my reasoning behind the petition you can visit this post here:  Athletes and Domestic Violence: Why I started With The NFL First I am troubled for a number of reasons, I am troubled with the NFL specifically because even though they have changed their policies, it still may not ...

This was something that was on my heart this morning and so instead of writing, I decided to speak it. Sometimes people need to hear things and I pray that this video blesses someone. Again, thank you to all who read my blog and God bless you. -Nicole C. Lofton www.facingittoday.org www.gardenofpurpose.com

Yesterday, something amazing happened. Before I continue on with that I want to again say a huge THANK YOU to all my readers, you are the reason why I continue to write. The best thing about blogging is one never really knows who is reading and what will come from it. I started this blog because I was encouraged to start blogging. The only subject that I could think of (at first) was domestic violence and I am so glad that I did it! Anyway, back to yesterday. I received a comment on my blog from Goldy Knows . For those who do not know, Goldy knows is a pro-wrestling personality, a motivational speaker, a singer, as well as a host of other things. Goldy is really big on Charity and now has her own reality show. In the comment that Goldy left, there was link to her show and on this particular show she interviewed a domestic violence survivor named Mary. I love to help and work with anybody who is supporting this cause, In fact, I love to help and support any cause, because yo...

This happens to be one of my favorite quotes from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I absolutely love quotes because sometimes they say they words that I couldn't think of myself. In the title of the post, the word "fighting" is included. I want to first explain what I mean by fighting. When I say fighting, it does not just mean physical, it could be as simple as arguing. After all an argument usually comes before a fight, but a disagreement usually comes before an argument.  I find that most times people find it hard to distinguish the words disagreement and argument. Just because you disagree with someone does not mean that you are arguing or even that you have to argue. Over the past two months, I started thinking about how different things would be if we just accepted each other for who we are. We have started to become a society where people cannot have an opinion without someone saying something negative about it (thank God for blogs right?) lol. I started to wonder...