DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AS A WHOLE

Yesterday, I was really thinking about some things, especially when it comes to relationships.I was thinking about how some relationships that we enter really bring us down and what we thought was love was really lust. Below is a tweet that I tweeted from my organizations account yesterday. Real love will make you better not worse — F.A.C.E. I.T. (@FACEITORG) January 1, 2014 You see, sometimes we just enter relationships that we were never meant to be in, but they also teach us a lesson. If ever you get into a relationship where you are constantly losing out on who you are then that is not the relationship for me. I find most times though that there was already some sort of insecurity that we already had that opened us to wanting to be in that particular relationship. It is important that we come to learn what true love really is. It is so easy for someone to throw the love word around without putting any meaning to it. Love is a verb, not just an emotion. Love is not just som...

Before I get started on the subject for today's blog, I first want to thank all of my readers. You all are my inspiration. Thank you for always reading, commenting, and sharing. I believe that it is because of you that this blog was chosen and listed as one of the  Top 101 domestic violence resources on Social Work Degree.Net . I cannot tell you how much that meant to me especially to be among the top domestic violence organizations and sites that even I look up too. I haven't written in a while so I did want to update you on that and again to say thank you. Now, for the subject of today's post. I have been thinking about this topic a lot lately and it was really on my heart this morning. It is amazing to me how many excuses that I hear and read when it comes to the subject of domestic violence. So many times I read and hear that women and/or men deserved to be hit. Although we should not provoke one another to anger, violence is simply NOT the answer. Just because ...

Hello Readers and Fellow Advocates, Today, I have another Guest Post. I am excited about this one and this is a topic that is dear to me but that I have not written about here.  Melissa actually takes a turn with this one because she is not talking about the batterers and alcoholism but rather how the person that is being abused uses alcoholism as a coping mechanism. This guest post comes from Mrs. Melissa Kluska. Here is a little about Melissa: Melissa currently writes for organizations such as St Jude Retreats, an alternative solution to traditional alcohol and drug rehab. As well as writing for St. Jude’s, Melissa also enjoys writing pieces that will help others on topics like health and relationships. 2 million. The amount of injuries associated with domestic violence each year, and 84% of these domestic violence victims are women . [1] Some victims of domestic abuse have stayed in an abusive relationship for years while others have been close ...

One of my favorite sayings and one that I came up with myself is "As advocates we should seek to understand more than we seek to be understood".  As a new and aspiring advocate I do not want to assume or come off as thinking that I know everything there is to know about domestic violence or any other causes for that matter.  I see statistics all the time, but I am not really big on statistics. I am big on testimonies and learning about other peoples struggle and how they overcame. Because of that, I have created a survey in order to understand better the emotional affects of domestic violence. I would like to hear from you, if you would like to share. Let it be known that I do not want to turn this into statistics that is not what this is about, I just want to hear from people who have actually been through it.  I have been through it myself, but in the process of wanting to help others, I also want to understand them. I realize that every situation is different ...

As advocates, survivors, people of faith, or just people who want change period, there is only so much that we can do but we cannot do it alone. Prayer is the key because faith without work is dead and vice versa. We have to intercede for those are going through a crisis. As we know this month (October) is National Breast Cancer, Bullying, and Awareness month, I would like to ask you all to join me in prayer every night this month at 9pm CT or whenever you can but preferably at night. Why at night? I believe that at night, as we wind down and have time to think, that is when our thoughts most consume us. Night Time is also the most loneliest and scariest for some. Let us be intercessors not only this month but period. I created this event on Evite ( Prayer for Those in Crisis ) feel free to let us know if you will be joining us in prayer. God Bless you all, Nicole Lofton (@NicoleCherese) on Twitter Founder of F.A.C.E. I.T. (@faceitorg) on Twitter

In Honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I wanted to take the time out as a survivor to give back to those who still may be going through a domestic abuse situation or just an unhealthy relationship or situation period. While I do not have money to give, etc one thing I do have is faith, prayer, and HOPE. Because it is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I wanted to speak to the victims of Domestic Violence. Some times this is the hardest to do, but it is time for us as survivors and advocates to really speak from our hearts to the victims hearts. We don't need to be judgmental because we need to come from that place of understanding, if fact, we do come from that place of understanding because we KNOW and UNDERSTAND what they have went through because WE went through it too. We must not forget, we have to remember how we felt when we were going through it in order to TRY to understand what they are feeling, in order to try to understand why they haven't left yet, in or...

Many of you may have or may not have noticed a petition going around that says something like " Let's get the NFL to wear purple in honor of Domestic Violence " I would like to take some time out to explain a little more about the petition. As some of you may know my name is Nicole Lofton and I am the founder of Faithful Deeds Foundation  I am also the creator of the NFL Domestic Violence petition . I realize that there as been some talk about whether this petition was the right thing to do, some people say that I am leaving out all the other sports league that may have players that have been involved in Domestic Violence incidents, some say that the NFL is not important when it comes to Domestic Violence, some say that my argument is not valid and well some say that it is simply just a waste of time.  Well, today I am here to address and respond to those concerns. You see first and foremost, I would like to make the statement that this petition is NOT a...

It has been a while since I wrote a blog post, but this one will definitely be a very sensitive and serious one. I realize that there are many people in domestic violence situations that actually do want to get out (contrary to popular belief), but that just don't know how or feel like they do not have any support. If you are one of those people who feel like you do not have any support, I want to first let you know that you will ALWAYS have God. God can and will rescue you from ANY situation. We often hear about the cycle of abuse, that is one thing that is talked about more now than ever, but what we rarely hear about is the cycle of the abuser. Now, some may say that the cycle of the abuser is similar or the same to the cycle of abuse, but that is not so(at least I don't think so ). I think there are two important keys to being able to leave an unhealthy or abusive relationship, one is to learn and know the cycle of an abuser and the second is to have a plan. Let's t...

This particular blog post will kind of be all over the place, but it will slowly start to come together and eventually the reader will see why the title is "Domestic Violence: The Mark of Silence". As I sat here thinking, I started to wonder if teens being home alone a lot helped them hide domestic violence more than usual. During these times parents are at work a lot, times are hard, and in order to pay bills and eat, we have to go to work. I thought about how much time a teen or someone living with their parents would have time to cover up a bruise by the time their parents, guardian, or whoever they were living with got home. Pay attention to this closely, remember when you first got a hickey or someone you knew got one? Maybe you were a teenager, maybe you were an young adult, or even an adult. A lot of times when someone first gets a hickey, its kind of embarrasing to them. They find ways to hide it by covering it up with make up, wearing turtle necks, putting toothpas...