DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AS A WHOLE

You say you love me but when you get mad, you hate me. You say there is no one you would rather spend the rest of your life with BUT..when you get mad you say you wish you never met me. You say I'm the best thing that ever happened to you BUT..then you turn around and curse me, hurt me, threaten to take my life and possibly even attempt to take my life. What is this that we are going through? What has gotten a hold of you? Or what has gotten a hold of me? That i have decided to stay in-spite of all this dismay, in-spite of all this hurt and pain. You are begging me to stay as I proceed to leave and I stop for a minute as i see the tears roll down Your eyes saying you love me and you never meant for me to cry, You say you know I didn't deserve what I was getting. You put my pain at ease for a minute. I think you love me at least I hope.. because I know I love you, So I decide to stay and say ok lets make it work. BUT then later you start to turn on ...

This blog may not come off as "agreeable" to everyone and that's okay. I am an advocate that wholeheartedly believe that we not cannot fully combat/tackle Domestic Violence as a WHOLE unless we recognize, accept, and acknowledge that Domestic Violence happens to both men and women. I read so many news articles, statistics, etc that are in favor of women and leave the men hanging. I suppose that as a woman such as myself, it would be easier for me to advocate for women and relate to them because in fact I am a woman but do we always need to take the easy route? When I think about Domestic Violence Advocates, I think that God has hand picked and designed us to be just that, so its not about us, its about Him. I started to think what if a male victim of domestic violence was reading things that I wrote or listening to things I said and what IF I was only talking about women and the statistic of women, how might that discourage them for coming to speak to me or sh...

Father God, Lord Jesus I come to you praying on behalf of all domestic violence victims, survivors and anybody that has ever been affected by Domestic Violence. Lord I asked that you cover them with your sons(Jesus) blood. I ask Lord that you cover them with your wings and be their refuge. Lord I pray that you give them strength to fight back spiritually and that you deliver them and heal them. Lord I pray that you give them peace, strength, hope, wisdom and love. Lord we don't always know why situations happen or what we should do regarding them But Lord I pray that you helped them realize that they are fearfully and wonderfully made and that you love them and would never do anything to harm them. I ask Father God that you dispatch your angels concerning them and lift them up to you, Because you Lord are where their help comes from. Please send them people who are understanding and willing to help. I pray a hedge of protection over all of their lives in Jesus Name Am...

This particular blog post will kind of be all over the place, but it will slowly start to come together and eventually the reader will see why the title is "Domestic Violence: The Mark of Silence". As I sat here thinking, I started to wonder if teens being home alone a lot helped them hide domestic violence more than usual. During these times parents are at work a lot, times are hard, and in order to pay bills and eat, we have to go to work. I thought about how much time a teen or someone living with their parents would have time to cover up a bruise by the time their parents, guardian, or whoever they were living with got home. Pay attention to this closely, remember when you first got a hickey or someone you knew got one? Maybe you were a teenager, maybe you were an young adult, or even an adult. A lot of times when someone first gets a hickey, its kind of embarrasing to them. They find ways to hide it by covering it up with make up, wearing turtle necks, putting toothpas...

Lastnight/Early this morning, a song popped in my head that I had not heard in  a long time. This song reminded me of something that I went through and something that I know a lot of people experience. After going back and reading the lyrics to the song, I started to research the group who made the song only to find out that one of the members had been in a domestic violence relationship. The reason why I researched the group was because I know that this group was ALWAYS real with their music and if they made a song about something it was usually something that they had experienced in their life. The group happened to be TLC and the song is titled "Unpretty" which is the title of this blog. The member who had the experience with domestic violence was T-BOZ. I would first like to post the lyrics to the song so that you can read them. So you can see how it tells the story of domestic violence in the form of emotional abuse. At times, it is good to actually read the lyrics of th...

 For about a year now I have been wanting to have an event entitled " My praise is my beauty". While I was talking to God last night, He spoke to me and said why don't you write about it. Writing is a form of therapy for me and it brings healing to me. I love to write, but I do not always utilize it as I should. So I said to myself well how will I write it about it, I had not put much thought into it. I have two blogs one for domestic violence and one for spiritual encouragement but I thought this would fit better under the domestic violence blog, but maybe I'll do both. Although I firmly believe that domestic violence happens to both men and women and I am an advocate for both this blog post will be geared towards the women. I have a scripture that I would like to focus on. The scripture is Do you see that scripture? Proverbs 31:30 "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord SHE SHALL BE PRAISED. This is where the concept of my beau...

I feel like I don't have anything left, not even the shirt on my back. I have no one to turn to as I lay here uneasy without feeling,without knowing who I am anymore. Somebody took that away from me, when they decided they wanted to lay with me. No remorse,they had their way with me. They didn't even stop to think if they were hurting me, It didn't matter to him, he only wanted me. I couldn't even scream, is this how its suppose to be? The first time a man decides to lay with me? Tears roll down my eyes, but even they got tired of being..no more tears..all dried up..its just my blood and me..man how could somebody who called themselves a MAN..do that to me. One thing I learned though is to pray for my enemies. This life isn't promise to him or me but to do what he did,I knew God had a plan for me. To rise up and become stronger than I knew I needed to be. No it didn't happened that fast,it took about 3 yrs for me. Treatment facilities, she...

As I was sitting back thinking about domestic violence as a whole and the healing process that one has to go through. I started thinking to myself, can one be a victim and a survivor at the same time? I did think about this carefully and what occurred to me is this: YES one can be both at the same time because he or she can be a victim(in their mind) BUT a survivor(at heart). What does this mean though? How can one be a victim in their mind but a survivor in their heart? How does that happen exactly? Well for some the healing process takes longer than others but a victim starts becoming a survivor once they have accepted the fact that they did not deserve to go through what they went through, that they deserve better and they will get better but it is still a process. Often times domestic violence has a serve effect on the victim and although they know in their heart and it is apparent that God gave them the strength to leave and they are now free and have moved on in and with their ...

Many times when domestic violence is thought of it is not though of as being emotional abuse and this is where this blog stems from. It is important to understand and realize that verbal/emotional abuse is not okay. Most people who have experienced some from of verbal or emotional abuse do not even realize that it is in fact abuse because it is downplayed. A lot of definitions in the past use to only include physical abuse. It is almost important to realize the impact of emotional abuse because usually emotional abuse starts first and then physical abuse follows, it would be helpful for the victim to be able to realize signs quicker if the victim knew how serious verbal abuse is. Again, I wanted to personal speak out and say that it is NOT okay to be emotionally, verbally, mentally let alone physically abused. IF you are in a relationship with someone, it is NOT OK for them to call you out your name or disrespect you in ANY kind of way. You are nobody's b**ch, hoe, slut, etc, you...

Many times when someone or something makes us mad, we tend to argue and some even fight about it. These days there is a bunch of violence not only domestic but just in general. The consensus is people get mad and they fight(not all people of course) but how about we get mad and fight AGAINST fighting. Do you understand what I'm saying? So many people have lost and are losing their lives to violence in general whether it be domestic violence, gun violence, riots, physical violence, some violence even leads to suicide. Some people get tired of being emotionally abused or just going through the trials of life that they commit suicide. So what is all the fighting about? What good is that doing in the world period? Its not doing any good. Do you believe that women and men should abuse each other? Do you believe in child abuse, elder abuse or family abuse? Do you believe in emotional abuse? Do you believe in senseless killings? If not? why not take a stand against it? Why are not we comi...

A lot of times when we ear, see, or read stories about things in general that have happened, when tend to think " that will never happen to me" or we start to say how we would have handled the situation differently. When it comes to domestic violence most of reactions received are negative. Some say things like the victim is stupid, why would the victim stay after being abused or I would never let anyone put there hands on me or talk to me crazy". These are typical responses when hearing a story involving domestic violence. I always like to point out the fact that we will NEVER know  what we will do in a situation until it is actually presented to us and I pray that those who have never experienced domestic violence or any other violence will have too. I tend to believe that if we can learn from someone's testimony/story then we should. If you ever thought for a moment that you couldn't be in a domestic violence situation then lets think about some scenarios be...

This blog was inspired from a previous conversation that I had. For a couple of months now I have been slowly but surely become an advocate for domestic violence as well as other causes. There are many misconceptions of domestic violence. I believe in order to truly combat/stop domestic violence we have to be able to understand domestic violence as a whole. Now these are just my thoughts and opinions on the issue of domestic violence. For many, people have begun to wonder if domestic violence is something that can in fact be stopped, I have come to believe that there is a solution to every problem. I truly believe that ALL things are possible through Jesus Christ because He tells us that in His word. The problem that we face with the issue of domestic violence is NOT in people but with the way domestic violence is handled. As I mentioned previously, there are some misconceptions of domestic violence. One of the biggest misconceptions of domestic violence is that it is only physical the...