DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AS A WHOLE

It has been a while since I wrote a blog post, but this one will definitely be a very sensitive and serious one. I realize that there are many people in domestic violence situations that actually do want to get out (contrary to popular belief), but that just don't know how or feel like they do not have any support. If you are one of those people who feel like you do not have any support, I want to first let you know that you will ALWAYS have God. God can and will rescue you from ANY situation. We often hear about the cycle of abuse, that is one thing that is talked about more now than ever, but what we rarely hear about is the cycle of the abuser. Now, some may say that the cycle of the abuser is similar or the same to the cycle of abuse, but that is not so(at least I don't think so ). I think there are two important keys to being able to leave an unhealthy or abusive relationship, one is to learn and know the cycle of an abuser and the second is to have a plan. Let's t...

Some may be wondering why this particular post is under my domestic violence blog and not one of my other ones, it is because I have to stay true not only to myself but to my readers. We all know that Whitney was a SURVIVOR of domestic violence. I can remember as a child, sitting in my room listening to Whitney and trying to belt out beautiful notes like she did. I remember seeing Whitney would perform on TV, or seeing her acting in movies(the body guard, the preachers wife, waiting to exhale). I remember watching waiting to exhale with my mom and I said to myself Oh I don't need a man, that movie gave me strength to look to the future to know the difference between a good man and a not so good one. Little did I know that one day I would find myself 'needing" or "depending" on a man. Sometimes when we don't feel loved we run to other outlets that may not be the best ones. For some it may be the wrong crowd, for some it maybe experimenting with something har...

Do you know DV?  Do you see them as they lurk into people’s lives? Seeking to destroy others because they cannot deal with themselves.  Do you see DV just as charming as can be, hey how are you doing? Dv says to me.  I smile and say I'm fine not knowing that this is just the beginning of something that I will soon hope to be ending.  Oh we had such a good time, we went out a date,  we stayed out late, reminded me of love at first site.  What a good person DV is to me.  Eventually I start to noticed that things have changed,  DV doesn't look at me at the same.  Is it something that I did?  T his is starting to get frightening because he turns to anger just as quick as a flash of lightening  BUT I must be tripping because this is not how I'm living.  Me and DV we love each other, we made a pact that we would not have no other.  Just me and DV but it then it starts to get ...

You say you love me but when you get mad, you hate me. You say there is no one you would rather spend the rest of your life with BUT..when you get mad you say you wish you never met me. You say I'm the best thing that ever happened to you BUT..then you turn around and curse me, hurt me, threaten to take my life and possibly even attempt to take my life. What is this that we are going through? What has gotten a hold of you? Or what has gotten a hold of me? That i have decided to stay in-spite of all this dismay, in-spite of all this hurt and pain. You are begging me to stay as I proceed to leave and I stop for a minute as i see the tears roll down Your eyes saying you love me and you never meant for me to cry, You say you know I didn't deserve what I was getting. You put my pain at ease for a minute. I think you love me at least I hope.. because I know I love you, So I decide to stay and say ok lets make it work. BUT then later you start to turn on ...

This blog may not come off as "agreeable" to everyone and that's okay. I am an advocate that wholeheartedly believe that we not cannot fully combat/tackle Domestic Violence as a WHOLE unless we recognize, accept, and acknowledge that Domestic Violence happens to both men and women. I read so many news articles, statistics, etc that are in favor of women and leave the men hanging. I suppose that as a woman such as myself, it would be easier for me to advocate for women and relate to them because in fact I am a woman but do we always need to take the easy route? When I think about Domestic Violence Advocates, I think that God has hand picked and designed us to be just that, so its not about us, its about Him. I started to think what if a male victim of domestic violence was reading things that I wrote or listening to things I said and what IF I was only talking about women and the statistic of women, how might that discourage them for coming to speak to me or sh...

Father God, Lord Jesus I come to you praying on behalf of all domestic violence victims, survivors and anybody that has ever been affected by Domestic Violence. Lord I asked that you cover them with your sons(Jesus) blood. I ask Lord that you cover them with your wings and be their refuge. Lord I pray that you give them strength to fight back spiritually and that you deliver them and heal them. Lord I pray that you give them peace, strength, hope, wisdom and love. Lord we don't always know why situations happen or what we should do regarding them But Lord I pray that you helped them realize that they are fearfully and wonderfully made and that you love them and would never do anything to harm them. I ask Father God that you dispatch your angels concerning them and lift them up to you, Because you Lord are where their help comes from. Please send them people who are understanding and willing to help. I pray a hedge of protection over all of their lives in Jesus Name Am...

This particular blog post will kind of be all over the place, but it will slowly start to come together and eventually the reader will see why the title is "Domestic Violence: The Mark of Silence". As I sat here thinking, I started to wonder if teens being home alone a lot helped them hide domestic violence more than usual. During these times parents are at work a lot, times are hard, and in order to pay bills and eat, we have to go to work. I thought about how much time a teen or someone living with their parents would have time to cover up a bruise by the time their parents, guardian, or whoever they were living with got home. Pay attention to this closely, remember when you first got a hickey or someone you knew got one? Maybe you were a teenager, maybe you were an young adult, or even an adult. A lot of times when someone first gets a hickey, its kind of embarrasing to them. They find ways to hide it by covering it up with make up, wearing turtle necks, putting toothpas...